Reflective Essay

       Throughout the first semester I have written about lots of different things. Some posts that need improvements, and some that show who I really am. Blogging has helped me learn more about myself and others. It’s like a “diary” but I think of it as a way to communicate and get feedback from others. I even gave blogging a name I call it CARL Communicating and Reading Leisurely. I blog when I’m bored, or when something major happens to me. Blogging has really helped me get my ideas out and share the things on my mind.

       I think that reading posts from my classmate’s blogs has really given me a different perspective about everything around me. When I read some ones blog, I treat it as a book. A book in which there are morals to learn. My classmate’s blogs give me a different perspective on various subjects they write about. An example would be a response post to Rokhsor’s post about stealing.

Some people steal because they want to be cool. Stealing is an issue that lots of people face. Some people steal because of financial reasons, some steal to be cool. No matter the reason, stealing is not right and there will be consequences. Its called Karma, it will come back to you in the future.

 In her post she said, “Stealing is the biggest crime in the world”. After reading that, I knew more about how she felt about stealing. When I responded to this, I thought a lot about how other people responded to something bad that happens to them and how differently I would react if I was in their shoes. Every time I read a blog I get a little smarter, and every time I respond to a blog I make a connection to my own life. This was exemplified when I had an epiphany when reading Leon Liang’s blog about coming to ASTI. I made a connection when I read:

If I haven’t applied to ASTI and went to Encinal High School, I think I would still be that lazy procrastinator back in middle school, copying homework from friends or finishing homework during passing period.

I would have done the exact same thing myself. Reading my classmate’s blogs has helped me learn more about myself. Reading and responding to posts have helped me become a better reader, writer, thinker, and listener. It helps me become a better reader and writer because when I read blogs, I get ideas for my own blogs. Then when I’m writing my blog and get writers block I’ll remember something from the blog I just read and instantly get past it. It helps become a better thinker because when I reflect on a classmate’s blog I have to think critically to give them a decent response. I am learning to give better response posts and my thinking is getting stronger too. Responding to blogs has also helped me become a better listener too. When I read a blogs I listen to what the person has to say. I don’t just read through it, I can hear the person speaking as if he/she were talking to me.

Blogging to me is different from writing in class. First of all I get to write about anything I want. An example would be my love toward raspberries. If I wrote that in any other class I would probably get a D. I actually like blogging. I’ve never been good at writing, it’s always the subject that I struggle the most in. Having a blog really helps me practice writing. Blogging has really helped me write better and be more creative when I’m writing. Instead of a teacher handing a prompt to me and telling me to write what he/she wants I get to be my own boss and decide what I want to write. It gives me power, and it feels good. I never planned to write about emotions, but when I sat down and opened blogger I suddenly got an idea to write about emotions and how they affect people differently. Just thinking about blogging will sometimes give me ideas. Even right now I, as I am typing this, I have gotten about seven or eight new ideas from writing this blog. Sometimes, I think of blogging as a way to get away from all the drama and stress that’s infested in every single crack in the world. Blogging has changed the way I think because it gives me something to think about. When I read some ones blog, it stays in my head, I don’t forget about it very quick. It keeps my brain constantly thinking so that I don’t blank out. Blogging has also changed the way I look at things. When I read my classmate’s blogs I get to know what they think or feel about something. This way when I come across a disagreement I can look at it in different ways. I think that blogging has really helped me with the different perspectives of the things around me.

       When I blog I get most of my ideas from out of thin air and from activities that I’ve done or emotions I felt. Most of what I blog about just comes to me when I sit down. On occasion I have to think for about twenty seconds and then an idea will come, but it’s usually spontaneous. I also blog about how I feel and fun things that have happened to me. I blogged about how horrible I felt one day, and how fun movie night was. Things that are exciting and interesting to me inspire me to write. Everything I blog about has some significance. I’m not saying that everything I blog about is perfect and has no holes in it, but most of what I write tells something about me and even may teach a lesson. I also write because I want to help people. I blog so that maybe one day someone that’s really sad will read one of my blogs and cheer up or laugh a little. That is probably the thing that inspires me the most.

      Blogging has really helped me with a lot of things at ASTI so far in the first trimester. It has helped me become a better writer, thinker, and listener. It also has helped me look at things differently and affects my perspectives on things. During the next quarter my goals are to blog about things that will get more response from my classmates. By doing that I will be able to improve my writing skills and write about better subjects. Another goal for me is to not forgetting to add the academic vocabulary words into my blog. 

       

Of Mice and Men

In John Stienbecks novel “Of Mice and Men” Two middle aged men named Lennie and George are migrant workers traveling together. The encounter countless problems with workers on the farm, each other, and even themselves. Lennie has a mental illness that attracts trouble for them everywhere they go. George and Lennie’s goal was go earn enough money to start up their own farm, but their plans are complicated by many roadblocks.

The central conflict in Of Mice and Men is character vs. self. Lennie’s mental illness keeps him from fully interacting with people and understanding right from wrong, causing trouble for himself and everyone around him.

Lennie causes mischief for George all the time. George acts as a babysitter, 24/7. Trouble follows Lennie everywhere and his mental illness acts like a second personality that is on autopilot. Lennie forgets most of the things George tells him. When George tells Lennie not to tell anyone about their plan to buy a piece of land, Lennie is so excited about tending the rabbits, that he tells Crooks all about it. Another time is when George has to always take animals like mice away from Lennie. Lennie doesn't remember half the things he's done, so its like he wakes up from a dream every time he's done something bad.

”Voices were approaching from outside. George said, Don’t tell nobody about it. jus’ us three an’ nobody else.” Is what George told Lennie and Candy after telling them about their plan to buy a piece of land. “Lennie said quietly, “ “It ain’t a no lie. We’re gonna do it.Gonna get a little place an’ live on the fatta the lan.” That was Lennie telling Crooks about their plan about starting up a farm, the thing George specifically told Lennie NOT to do.

Lennie also has this obsession with petting soft things, which leads him to his death at the end of the story. Lennie has killed countless animals just by petting them. His mental illness tells him that he needs to pet something all the time to keep calm and feel good. I think by petting something soft his brain calms down and causes Lennie to feel comforted. Lennie needs to pet something so that he doesn't freak, just like a baby needs a pacifier when he/she is about to cry. Lennie starts out with petting mice, he kills it because he’s too strong, then he gets a pup, he kills it because it was too small.

                  “When I’m doin’ my hair sometimes I jus’ set an’ stroke it ‘cause it’s so soft.” “ She took Lennie’s hand and put it on her head. Feel right aroun’ there an’ see how soft it is. Lennie’s big fingers fell to stroking her hair. Lennie said, Oh! That’s nice, and he stroked harder. Oh, that’s nice. “Look out, not, you’ll muss it. And then she cried angrily you stop it now, you’ll muss it all up. She jerked her head sideways and Lennie’s fingers closed on her hair and hung on.Let go,s he cried. You let go! Lennie was as in a panic. His face contoured. She screamed then, and Lennie’s other hand closed over her mouth and nose. Please don’t he begged. She struggled violently under his hands. Her feet battered on the hay ad she withered to be free; and Lennie began to cry with fright. He shook her then, and he was angry with her. Don’t you go yellin’, he said. And then he shook her and hr body flopped like a fish. And then she was still for Lennie had broken her neck.”

Near the end of the story Curley’s wife tells Linnie to feel her hair. He touches her hair and his mental illness wants to keep touching it because hes never felt anything as soft. Curley's wife then tell him to stop, but Lennie pulls her hair, she starts to scream and Lennie starts to freak, he covers her mouth with his giant hand suffocating her, then he accidentally snaps her neck by shaking her killing her instantly.  This obsession with petting soft things  ultimately leads to his own death.

At the end of the story Lennie hallucinates. This was his real inner personality taking control and telling his illness that it really messed up. Lennie's mental illness was a second personality that was a little kid and bullied the real Lennie. When he hallucinates the real Lennie argues with his mental illness and reflects on all the bad things hes done. When he finally sees George he wakes up from his hallucination, Lennie's mental illness takes control. He then tells George to give him hell.

“Lennie said, “Geroge.” “Yeah?” Ain’t you gonna give me hell. sure like you always done before. Like, if I di’nt have you I’d take my fifty bucks. “Jesus Christ Lennie! you Can’t remember nothin that happens but you remember ever’ word I say. After George goes through his usual lecture Lennie says “And I get to tend the rabbits.” “an’ you get to tend the rabbits.” Lennie giggled with happiness.

His mental illness probably thinks that when George gives him hell, it is his consequence and that everything will be better once he is punished. When this happens Lennie is basically forgiving himself because he took his punishment and now there is nothing wrong.

In conclusion Lennie mental illness creates lots of unnecessary problems for the people around him, but mostly hiself. If his mental illness was not present then all the trouble would be gone and everything might have gone according to plan. George, Lennie, and Candy would have their farm and everything would be alright, but that's only if Lennie didn’t have his mental illiness.

Response to Leon Liang

I found this post on Leon Liang's Blog

At first, everything was easy and the amount of homework was not much, but as the year progresses, each of the teachers taught more and things got harder to understand. The amount of homework also increased; the average homework ASTI underclassmen have to do each night is about five to six hours of homework. If I haven’t applied to ASTI and went to Encinal High School, I think I would still be that lazy procrastinator back in middle school, copying homework from friends or finishing homework during passing period.

      I agree with Leon, ASTI is pretty raw. In middle school, I barely payed attention, I spent about thirty minutes a day doing homework and the other four hours watching tv, hanging out, eating, and playing sports. During tests, it was so easy to cheat. I would never study. I still barely study, I look at the main terms and then I'm done. When I came to ASTI I set a goal for myself. I promised myself that I was going to get a 4.0 at least once. So far ASTI is not so challenging. I get home at around 6:30 and start me homework aroung 7. I usually finish around 9 or 10. I also do some of my homework at the library. If I went to Encinal I would be off task and my friends would be such a distraction. Everyday I would probally hang out with them and not do my homework. At ASTI I feel like I'm achually accomplishing something rather than being forced to do it. I was not forced to come here, I made a choice and this choice is going to change my life because I said so, and everything I say is right.
      My homework load so far is not that bad. I am very organized and manage my time wisely. My concentration level might need to be raised a little, but that is fairly easy to do. My academic knowledge is pretty diverse I still remember what I learned in 6th grade science and history so it is easier for me to take tests in Biology and History. ASTI is the best school I have ever been to. Yay go ASTI. I hope this is at least 350 words cause I am not going to check.

I feel horrible

      Ughhh I don't even know why, but for about the last four days, I've been feeling horrible. I've had a headache some days, stomach aches here and there throughout the day, my pinky toe still hurts, and I have a bug bite that is really just pissing me off.
      I really don't think the headaches are from homework, it might be from looking at the computer screen or my itouch for too long. Today I don't have a headache, but I feel like I can't remember half the stuff I did in math. I basically just did the stuff I know and skipped the stuff that seemed hard. I don't know, but I think I'm getting lazy. I'm not sick because my immune system is beast and I don't get sick. An alternative explanation might be that I'm out of shape and I'm getting fat.
      The stomaches feel like theres a rock or something in there. Sometime it will hurt, and sometimes it will not. It might indicate that I need to eat less food because I eat about 3000 calories a day. Yea, I'm fat, I know.
      My pinky toe hurts because, one, I broke it, two, i sprained it. I kicked my brothers foot and heard a loud snapping sound, I fell down and said oww for about five minutes and got back up. It hurt. This happed last week. My toe still hurts. Now using my logic I predict that my fricken toe is sprained.
      I have lots of problems, but I have planed my scheme. I will go to the doctor. This is significant because the doctor will tell me what to do to fell better. The doctor is smart and has a computer full of big words to describe symptoms like psychotherapeutics, whats the point of that. Its stupid and just confuses the patient. The place I go to to see the doctors is Kaiser Permanente. I just moved to Pinole so I have not been there yet. I hope the doctors there are nice and will take good care of me. Owww my stomach hurts, ugh this is not the best day. Out of my entire time here at ASTI, so far today is one of the worst. Ohh well, there are going to be better more funner times in the future. Ok I'm done bye.  <-----Yay 392 words

Movie Night

      Movie night was probably the most fun I've had at ASTI this year. The diversity of the fun was awesome. It started after school. A whole bunch of the freshman met up after school. We all went to McDonalds. While we were walking there Melissa and Ivan decided to take the bus because they were really lazy. It was Ebone, Karisa, Shannon, and Me walking. While we were walking down Webster, Tony decided to throw leaves at some little kids that weren't looking. HAHAHAHA they got super mad and started to follow us with their dead-leg walk and with their pants on the ground. This was really funny, I think they were talking smack about about me, and wanted to fight me. Hehe this was so funny. After that we got to McDonalds. I ate 20 McNuggets. Then half of us took the bus and the other half walked back to ASTI. When we got back to ASTI we met up with Stan, Troy and Cameron. We all went onto the roof and did stuff. Later we went to the beachers on the field and played truth or dare. It was all dare. After that we went to see the movie
      The movie night itself was very disorganized. The total duration of it was about four hours. After fifteen minutes of a unique lecture Jasmine, the movie started. After about 10 minutes into "without a paddle" out whole group left and went to hang out next to the weight room. We played some more dare or dare there. It was pretty fun. After that we went to the roof and hung out. A lot of people there started getting cold and we all ended up sitting on top of each other. We took lots of pictures and did other stuff. Then Melissa wanted to go back and watch the scary movie, no one else wanted to go so I went back with her. While we were watching the movie I kept scaring her and Shannon by just touching them. There would be a Scary scene and I would just like poke them and they would jump through the roof. At one point MR told me to scream. Lets just say everyone in the room went up....then caused an earthquake. Shannon went back to the roof after a while. Then after about 10 mins I left too. Leaving Melissa with a special someone. Later Melissa and 2 other people came to the roof. Everyone was still cold, laying on top of each other. There were a lot of people there. Some juniors and sophmores were there too. We had lots of fun.
      Yesterday felt like a bonding day. It was actually better than a bonding day cause it felt like I really bonded with people. The duration of movie night was four hours, I spent about 20 mins watching a movie. The other 220 minutes I spent hanging out with friends and having fun.